Colour your mind, charm your world

First of all, you assured me that it wasn't your new friends, that they had no power to influence who you've become over the years. I listened and was quiet for months. I let you explore because I thought I was rather too harsh. You grew in the midst of low thinking human beings and your value started to drop. I watched you become so conscious of the most useless things, even the attention of men that could devour you and leave your soul empty. Again I pricked your heart from my chambers but I realized that your eyes were closed and upon them a Vail. Your ears were busy listening to jazz and hip hop. Your hands were full with bags upon bags from the shopping mall in town.  On the day you inhaled cocaine, persuaded by a man old enough to be your grand father, I shouted from the bowels of your heart. But you didn't want to look stupid in front of him, you didn't want him to think you weren't strong enough. You coughed, chocked and smiled in pain and he watched you ...

Dear Karen, I am honoured that you have considered my house worthy of a visit. I am glad that you feel it's necessary to brace the walls of my home but I'd also like you to know that you'll be far from pleased when you come. First of all karen, I do not wake up at 4am to ring the morning bells and whistles. Of course I wouldn't want to wake a three day old baby who hasn't even slept up to 30 minutes. I'm not going to be pleased when you come in and find the house dusty and scattered with toy building blocks, Teddy bears and rubber dolls. However, I won't budge when you speak with your eyes in a manner of contempt. I haven't had a complete meal since the baby was born and I can't tell when last I did the laundry.  For once, I won't be shamed when your eyes wander like a torch light in the dark, towards my bloated stomach and hideous stretch marks. I won't feel attacked looking at your perfect figure. Your nicely tucked packet shirt and a t...

I'm not in the best of moods today. I haven't been in weeks. Having to wonder what happens after every minute is quite a lot of work. Having to look out the window every beautiful evening, wishing away the chance I had to be a step better. Longing every minute than before to be the picture I see in my heart, the picture of the woman who has conquered her fears and has lived potential to the fullest. Today, I am like you. I feel the same way you feel the other day when you couldn't solve a math equation in class. I feel exactly the same way you felt when your legs trembled and your heart skipped. The feeling of incapability mixed with low self-esteem. I saw you walk a thirty minute journey alone to your house, weeping. I felt your walls of defense crumbling down and now your little pride is melting under the stringent watch of the hot afternoon sun. I see the pain in your wincing face and I hear the deep groans. It's okay, let it all out. I know you felt capable yeste...